Fried Does Not Automatically Equal Good Anymore

Today’s lunch was just so-so. I went for the street corner fried chicken with a side of popcorn fish and a coconut cooler to wash it down. The chicken was not nearly as crisp as the previous piece I had and the popcorn fish had far too many bones – generally one is too many, but in this case I allowed for a couple and was still overwhelmed. I didn’t finish anything but the cooler, which was my second of the day and damn delicious. I think it’s the only thing keeping my stomach from launching an outright revolt against me. Not that I could blame it. I’m somewhat disgusted with myself. The old mantra, “if it’s fried, it’s got to be good,” has failed me too many times and I’m just being shamefully stubborn now. Grease equals bad from here on out… well… maybe not bad, but it doesn’t automatically equal good, that’s for damn sure. The meal gets 2 forks, and only because the cooler. Without the cooler, it’s a 1 for sure.

As a side note, where’s all the Pad Thai? I mean shit, the term literally means Thai noodles. Is Bangkok not considered Thailand? I thought I’d be able to fall backwards off the sidewalk and land in the stuff and here we are almost a week into our visit and I’ve only had it once. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough. I’ll make up for that, I promise all of you.

Mistakes Are Made

Lunch was interesting today. We were in downtown Bangkok and there was virtually no street vendors so we thought it’d be interesting to eat in the food court of the Siam Mall. It was a pretty sizeable food court and instead of paying the individual restaurant for your food, you put however much you wanted onto a card at the food court card kiosk, and then they swiped your card. I went for something that looked like shrimp and vegetables in an oyster sauce with some egg. It turned out to be cold and taste like it had been seasoned with nutritional yeast, which I like, but not in my Chinese food. Plus, the shrimp hadn’t been shelled or de-legged, so I had to dig in with my hands. It did have an interesting vegetable in it called something like purim, but I’m certain that’s not it. It tasted like bindi (okra), but was bigger and looked like peeled cucumber. All in all, the food was sub-par and I wish I would’ve hunted harder for street food. I would only recommend this place if your only other option was raw chicken neck served on a bed of hepatitis-laden spinach. Maybe that’s a little harsh. The chicken could be cooked I guess, but it’d have to be boiled, and the only food that should ever find its self sitting in boiling water is corn, potatoes, and pasta. Good luck. All in all, I gave the meal 2 forks, and that's perhaps a little generous. It was no street fried chicken.

Fried Chicken!

My food adventure for today was street vendor fried chicken and let me tell you, Colonel Sanders might want to contact the vendor I bought from because his recipe was fantastic. The chicken was perfect. Just the way I like it. There were portions that were crisp and others that were tender. It was perfectly seasoned, though it had a faint hint of fish that I didn’t notice until the end and was probably because the chicken had been fried in the same oil as some fish. The vendor was selling whole fried fish and chicken drumsticks, wings and breasts. I had a breast, naturally. I would recommend the chicken to anybody who likes chicken and I advised Eileen and Kristina that if they ever wanted to drop the vegetarian thing, their first stop should be the fried chicken vendor. Maybe I love food too much to write this blog, because I’ve got to give the chicken 4 forks, and it seems that everything gets 4 forks or above. Or maybe I’ve just been damn lucky with my food selections.

(As a side note, I did not review the airplane food, which damn well could’ve helped drop my average into something more respectable. But I’m not here to hate. I’m here to love.)

Roles and Lad Na In Chatuchack

To start things out at Chatuchack, an outdoor marketplace in Bangkok, I got some egg roles. They were extremely cheap, 20 baht for 4, came with a variety of fillings and with the choice of numerous sauces. I opted for a couple veggie and a couple veggie garlic roles and the Thai dressing. All decisions were absolutely correct and were served in a bowl with the sauce poured over the top mixed with some fresh cucumber. It was a success. I’d give the dish 4 forks without hesitation. Again, I reserve more critical judgment because of my inexperience with the food here.



Being that the roles only whet my appetite, we headed for a café where I ordered Lad Na which is a dish served in a thick sauce. Mine had shrimp, squid, broccoli, cauliflower, bok choi and some odd mushroom that was extremely salty and looked like grisly pork. I poked at the mushroom for quite a while working up the nerve to bite into it, pushing it around the plate like an unwanted guest. I wouldn’t recommend this dish to anyone unless they were looking for trouble. You can also get Lad Na served with pork and chicken instead of the sea food. Either way, the dish would be useful if perhaps I worked in interrogation. I give this Lad Na 1 fork because at least the veggies were fresh and crisp.

Fresh On the Corner

After a long and arduous trip that took multiple flights and left me sleep-deprived, I arrived in Bangkok this afternoon and after cleaning myself up, I went out seeking roadside Pad Thai. As this was my first experience eating Pad Thai actually in Thailand, I have absolutely nothing to compare it to beyond US Pad Thai, so that is what I’ll compare it to for now until my palate is more refined.

As far as Pad Thais go, and it is only fair to point out that I’m not a huge Pad Thai guy, this was exceptional. It came with a side of chives, bean sprouts, lime wedges and some veggie that tasted like celery at first but quickly squelched all dampness in my mouth. If anyone reading this has a problem with excessive saliva, just post a comment or e-mail me and I’ll track down the name of this wretched thing for you. It could be life-changing. This stuff could stop a gaping wound from bleeding. It could be used against flooding. It could be used as a sealant.



The portion was generous and cheap which is always a good combination, especially so when the food is good too. I wish I could tell you the name of the place, but as I don’t speak a word of Thai nor have the ability to read the letters, I cannot. More apologies, but don’t take it too hard. I doubt it’d be hard to find a comparable place in Bangkok. Which isn’t to say the food was bad because it certainly wasn’t. The tiny shrimps and bits of scrambled egg were good and my only complaint is that I found a bug in it (which isn’t really a complaint at all, but something that does bother a lot of people). I gave it 3 forks because while it was good, I imagine it to be par for the course here. Check back later though.

One More Burger

For my last meal before departing the US for the better part of at least the next two years I headed to In-N-Out. If you’ve never heard of this place and you like burgers, head out to California. I figured I couldn’t get much further from what I’ll be eating while in Southeast Asia than a fast food burger, but I didn’t want some filthy 2-parts-beef-to-three-parts-flies-rats-and-whatever-else-is-handy burger. Go to the website if you’re interested in In-N-Out’s practices.

I had heard that you can order your burger animal style, which means that they fry the onions up with the burger and add some mustard, and so I thought I’d try it (you can also order your fries animal style, but because I didn’t order them, I won’t explain here). The sandwich came with two patties and two layers of cheese, 1,000 Island-like special sauce, lettuce, tomato and pickle all on a seedless bun. It was fantastic and I would recommend that anyone who likes burgers tries In-N-Out’s animal style. The lettuce was crisp and stacked thick enough that it gave the burger nice snap and cool temp to offset the patties. This is one of the most underrated aspects of a good burger: the ice burg lettuce factor. You need enough that it adds freshness to the sandwich, but not so much that it makes the bun soggy.

I also had fries. They were average, which is to say that they didn’t screw them up by over cooking them, making them limp, or leaving them under the heating lamp too long so that they dry out. It’s a simple thing to cook fries, but you’d be surprised the number of times you get stubby, dry half fries without salt. Dairy Queen used to put a fantastic seasoning on their fries, but only those ordered in a basket, from some reason. Who knows why? Trade secret I guess, and it’ll never be clear as they no longer do that. It’s been so long in fact that no one that works and the Dairy Queen in Eugene even knows about it. Anyway, In-N-Out’s fries are good, but nothing to write about, so I’ll stop here.

I gave the meal 4 forks over all, knocking it down from 4.5 because the fries were merely average, though to be fair, perhaps I should’ve tried them animal style. The burger stands alone at 4.5, only needing sesame seeds on the bun and the option of adding bacon to make it a five.

As a side note, I had my first Krispy Kreme directly from an actual Krispy Kreme donut shop. My only previous experience with this fantastic pastry was from a box of donuts in a town that had a Krispy Kreme whose whereabouts I did not know.

Escape From New York

First, I’d like to point out that I consider myself somewhat of a single slice connoisseur (more buff than expert), though some would attest that my affinity for the single slice verges on obsession. I eat a slice at least a couple of times a week and have occasionally made it a daily staple, so I feel I can speak with at least a modicum of authority on the subject. It is important to note that pizza by the slice is much better than by the pie for one simple reason: generally, unless the pizza is fresh from the oven, the pizzeria from which you ordered slips your slice back in the oven where the crust becomes a slight more crisp yet maintains its soft, doughy insides.

So it was that Hilary and I went to Escape From New York City for lunch today. The restaurant is a pizzeria ostensibly named for the Kurt Russell classic and because it is New York style pizza in San Francisco – the old clever double meaning. As far as pizza by the slice goes, it was about average. They offer the same tried and true standards: pesto, Mediterranean, pepperoni, etc. I had a slice of cheese and a slice of mushroom, as you might’ve noticed. At $2.99 apiece, they weren’t exorbitantly priced. The sauce was decent but no better. Thankfully they avoided one of the biggest mistakes many pizzerias make, adding sugar to the sauce. I’d rather eat pickled eggs than sweet pizza sauce. Instead they made the second biggest mistake. My pizza sat in the oven on the re-heat too long and came out far too crisp. They might as well have made it on a digestive cracker. However, I don’t want to be too harsh as a result. The person working the counter did appear entirely disinterested in her job anyway. But maybe I confused disinterest with hipster aloofness. I’m not good at distinguishing those things.

On the whole, I’d give the pizza 3 forks. I’d recommend it to someone looking for a slice without any high expectations. I’m fairly certain I’ll eat there once again at some point. By then maybe the hipsters will have moved on to Dim Sum or some other trendy cuisine, instead of plaguing pizzerias with their masked incompetence. Probably not, though. What is it about pizzerias that attracts these people? Is it the hours? The connection to that hipster Mecca NYC? I don’t know. All I want is for them to properly re-heat my pizza. Damn.

Lunch at Buster's

Today we ate lunch at a sandwich stand in Little Italy, San Francisco. Buster’s specializes in Philly Cheesesteaks served in a variety of styles and flavors. In addition, they offer a wide range of cheeses that includes pepper jack and even Cheese Whiz.

I had the North Beach that comes with spinach, zucchini and red peppers along with the usual cheesesteak fixings. The bun was soft but not soggy, the steak was firm but not rubbery or crisp, and the veggies retained their flavor. Also, it was the perfect proportion so that I was neither hungry nor painfully full after, and virtually nothing spilled. On the whole, I gave it 4.5 forks out of five, only deducting the half a point because, well, I can’t just give out 5 forks willy-nilly and this is my first review. Perhaps later I will bump them up.

Hilary ordered the California, which was served with mayo, lettuce, tomato and pickle. She reported that the sandwich had “a perfect amount mayo – enough so it oozes a little, but not so much that it’s gross.”

We ordered fries as well and they came fresh made with enough salt already on them that Hilary needed not add any more. Beautiful. So, on the whole, Buster's is highly recommended, if you're into that sort of thing (they do offer chicken and tofu instead of steak if you prefer).

(The photo is not of either of our sandwiches, but I did not have my camera with me when we ate. The mistake is regrettable.)

(Another thing worthy of mention is the fact that my Philly Cheesesteak eating experience is limited to three restaurants none of which is in Philly. But I have eaten several cheesesteaks.)